i am paula. hear me roar.

it would be a shame for me to not share myself with the world through blog.

Friday, May 12, 2006

on the catwalk. literally.

no, no, i'm not talking about modeling. kate moss and tyra banks don't know nothin' 'bout this type of catwalk.

because it's a real woman.
with a real cat.
on a real leash.
in my real backyard.

ironically, she's not the same woman who calls for her cat, using the full capacity of her lungs and vocal cords, everyday when i'm arriving home from work. this is a new and different character in the 'hood.

she joins a kooky cast of characters...

1. real cat lady.
see above.

2. david.
you might know him from his appearance as the guy who gets high on meth and throws his couch out the window because he believes there are monsters under it. or if you missed that episode, he's also the guy who gets high on meth and goes streaking at 8:15 in the morning. in a follow-up role, he is wrestled to the ground by police and subdued with a green bedspread which he believes is an alligator.

3. child molester.
best known for a short lived performance as, well...see above. he will be taking a sabbatical, due to the fact that he is serving 6-8 years in a minimum security prison. awesome.

4. trench coat guy.
well, dude wears a trench coat, obviously. and he is ALWAYS on his cell phone, saying things like, "the magnitude of the situation is incomprehensible."

5. 14-year old girlfriend of trench coat guy.
gets dropped off by a cab every evening, after #1, real cat lady (see above,) has been yelling "PETEY! PETEY!" for about 12 minutes. she arrives in stripper-wear, because this is her profession, and is picked up by aforementioned cab at approximately 7:30, when i am brushing my teeth.

as you can see, west second avenue has proven itself to be entertaining at the very least. what it lacks in safety and cleanliness, it makes up for in meth addicts and cat walkers. fair trade, i'd say.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

hallmark shmallmark.

not that i have anything against america's most well-loved card company, honest. but why would i pay $2.99 for a regular card, when i can make theeeese?!

group shot.

asian infusion.
(rachel's fave.)

magic carpet.
(chris' fave.)

grass-eating giraffes.
(except, in nature, they rarely bend down, so this is innacurate.)

now i'll have to start making them for uber-specific occasions, like hallmark does...
"congratulations on becoming a surrogate parent and moving into a new house! and by the way, get well soon!"
they've been going like hotcakes, and i've only been in business for two days. i've been getting very positive feedback, which is encouraging. rachel's dad said he liked my "sewy things," my mom didn't even believe it wasn't store-bought, and kyle is paying me to make one for his mom for mother's day.

today: greeting cards, tomorrow: the world!
well, actually, tomorrow i'll probably just sleep in and eat ice cream all day...but i'll look into the whole conquering the world business if there's time.

in other news, i've got another ear infection. 'cause apparently my ear canals are tiny and conducive to bacterial growth. awesome. damn you, tiny canals, damn you.