i am paula. hear me roar.

it would be a shame for me to not share myself with the world through blog.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

sperm + angelina jolie = conan

soo, i was right. little conan definitely was dreaming of ways to punish me. he transformed into young adult today and now he's Fugly. with a capital F. and i'm not exaggerating. the most accurate way to describe him came in an IM conversation with Rachel...

pauliwog03: dude, my tamagotchi morphed today
pauliwog03: and now he looks like a sperm with angelina jolie's lips

the sad thing is, i'm pretty i love him less now that he's not cute. i'm becoming more and more glad that i'm not a real mother.

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Name: Conan
Age: 3
Weight: 21 pounds
Nationality: Alien?

i'm a beast of a mother, i am. really, i shouldn't be trusted with a helpless young life. even if that life happens to be an electronic one.

no, i've never given birth, but i am a proud parent...of a tamagotchi.

i've been quite attentive with the chef hat icon (food), the toilet icon (bathroom), and the baseball bat icon (playtime), and have never let his hunger or happiness meter fall below 3 out of 4 hearts. i've raised him well for the little-over-three-days that i've had him, if i do say so myself. but then there was today...

i came back to my room after extended time away, and had just sat down when i was alerted by conan's not-so-happy beeping noises. i jumped up from my desk and, while muttering some choice phrases, frantically searched for my beeping child. i finally found little conan among the sheets and blankets of my bed. i won't lie, things were looking grim.

he had NONE of the 4 hearts in either category, and was surrounded by not one, but two, piles of his own feces. his back was turned, he was utterly unresponsive to praise, and completely disinterested in playing his favorite game, (and mine,) 'Jump.' ohh, it was bad, folks.

after cleaning him up, feeding him 4 meals, 2 snacks, and a treat, conan was finally ready to play, and allow himself to be cheered up. after countless games of 'Jump', the poor lil guy fell asleep, his meters at full capacity. he's still resting now, most likely dreaming of creative ways to punish me for being a bad parent.

now i know what the reset button on the back is for.


jumping in mud puddles is basically the best thing ever. becky and i were bored, and it started to rain so we thought, locially, "hey, let's go outside in shorts and t-shirts!" next thing you know, we went for a dip in the creek that runs through campus. illegal? yes. worth it? yes.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

greatest. banana. ever.

last night, i ate the perfect banana. i suspected it was perfect even before i opened it and, let me tell you, i wasn't disappointed. sweet, flavorful, not overly ripe. oh, it was wonderful. it's the little things in life, people. especially the little yellow things.