motherhood.

Name: Conan
Age: 3
Weight: 21 pounds
Nationality: Alien?

i'm a beast of a mother, i am. really, i shouldn't be trusted with a helpless young life. even if that life happens to be an electronic one.

no, i've never given birth, but i am a proud parent...of a tamagotchi.

i've been quite attentive with the chef hat icon (food), the toilet icon (bathroom), and the baseball bat icon (playtime), and have never let his hunger or happiness meter fall below 3 out of 4 hearts. i've raised him well for the little-over-three-days that i've had him, if i do say so myself. but then there was today...

i came back to my room after extended time away, and had just sat down when i was alerted by conan's not-so-happy beeping noises. i jumped up from my desk and, while muttering some choice phrases, frantically searched for my beeping child. i finally found little conan among the sheets and blankets of my bed. i won't lie, things were looking grim.

he had NONE of the 4 hearts in either category, and was surrounded by not one, but two, piles of his own feces. his back was turned, he was utterly unresponsive to praise, and completely disinterested in playing his favorite game, (and mine,) 'Jump.' ohh, it was bad, folks.

after cleaning him up, feeding him 4 meals, 2 snacks, and a treat, conan was finally ready to play, and allow himself to be cheered up. after countless games of 'Jump', the poor lil guy fell asleep, his meters at full capacity. he's still resting now, most likely dreaming of creative ways to punish me for being a bad parent.

now i know what the reset button on the back is for.